Why Include A Candle 
Lighting Ceremony?

I have a friend that has been married for 33 years...  and for 33 years Amy and her husband Bruce have relit their Unity candle on every wedding anniversary to symbolize their two hearts becoming one.  In fact, this year she had to melt down what was left of the candle and add additional wax to make a new Unity candle... that she and Bruce will relight on all their future anniversaries.  

Needless to say, the Unity candle originally lit by her and her husband in their ceremony 33 years ago is a cherished symbol of their love and union and a priceless memento from their wedding.

In years to come, you and your husband can enjoy just such a heartfelt symbol and memento by including a candle lighting ceremony in your wedding.

The Candle Lighting 
Ceremony Itself

During the wedding ceremony, couples use two lit taper candles (symbolizing their individuality) to light one big candle (the Unity Candle) as a symbol of their two lives becoming one.  

Where you place the Unity Candle ceremony within the wedding ceremony can vary, but usually the mothers of the bride and groom light a taper candle in honor of their son or daughter during the processional - or the bride and groom light a taper candle on their own behalf during the processional.  

After lighting the candles, (the mothers  return to their seats) the tapers remain lit throughout the ceremony.   The Unity Candle ceremony can be performed at the altar, off to the side of the altar, at the front of the church, or not in a church at all (the reception can be a great place if the church does not permit the ceremony).  

After the vows and rings have been exchanged, the minister will explain to the guests the symbolism of the Unity Candle.  He asks the bride and the groom to take their "individual" lives (the individual taper candles) and bring them both to the large center candle - lighting one flame with their two individual flames.  During the lighting of the Unity Candle there can be music, singing  or a poem recited to accompany the ceremony.

Whether or not to extinguish the individual tapers after the lighting of the Unity Candle is up to the couple.  Many couples believe that putting out their individual flames appears as if their individual lives have been snuffed-out for the benefit of the marriage, but some believe extinguishing individual candles only shows their devotion to the commitment they've just made.

You can also include your children in the lighting of the Unity Candle -  symbolizing not only two hearts becoming one, but an entire family uniting as one.  During the processional have your children light the individual tapers - mom's kids light mom's candle, and the same for dad.  If only one of you have children, consider having the child light the parent's candle while the other's mother lights their candle. 

If your preference is for you (or your parents) to light the tapers, have your kids light an individual taper for themselves at the same time.  When it's time to light the the Unity Candle, each member of your new family takes their own taper candle and contributes to the single flame. 

If you would like to include a special memento for a lost loved one, you can do so during the Unity Candle Ceremony.  Before the Unity Candle is lit by the couple,  light a candle in honor of  the loved one (placed on a second table at the altar), then move to the altar to light your Unity Candle. 

There are no strict rules, so make the ceremony special to you.  

The ceremony can be reenacted on your wedding anniversaries to symbolize that your two hearts are still one.